14-year-old tells her uncle she doesn't want to be like his 10, 14, and 16-year-old homeschooled kids: 'I don’t know if his kids are even gonna be able to go to college.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Feb 22, 2026 12:00 PM EST

Why would she want to be like his kids?

You'd be surprised how many parents think childhood ends the second their kid starts school. They believe that education marks the beginning of the end of innocence and a stress-free life, and that parents should keep their kids at home, away from other kids, for as long as possible, to ensure they stay pure. Maybe they feel this way because they had negative experiences with schooling as a child, but I don't get this mentality. Kids, no matter their age, get bored if all they have to do all day is stay home and hang out with their parents. Heck, I get bored as an adult if I have to stay home all day with nothing to do! We don't structure our society around school and work solely because of capitalism! We do it because we feel better about ourselves and our lives if we have something to do and people to see every day! Maybe this is a biased perspective from an extrovert early bird, but it's my story, and I'm sticking to it! 

In my experience, all of the happiest kids (and adults) do some extracurricular activity outside of school/work. It gives them a chance to socialize with people who aren't just in their family or class, and it allows them to engage in something athletic or artistic that gives their lives meaning! That's a whole lot better than sitting at home and scrolling through TikTok all day. 

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  • Young beautiful Asian teenage girl using smartphone in subway station
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The teenager in this story has been dealt a tough hand, but she has made the most of it. After her mother's passing, she has continued to be involved in her extracurricular activities, even though her uncle does not understand them.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my uncle I don’t want to be like his kids?

    Backstory: my mom d d when I (14f) dod was little. She had been sick for a while and before shed d she set everything up so I would go to her best friend, Katie.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • My uncle, Nick, fought for custody of me after my mom dad because he thought I should be with family.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • Katie has custody of me and adopted me but I spend one weekend a month with Nick and his family, although lately it's been a little less because of competitions.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • The visits to Nicks house aren't court ordered Katie just wants me to have a connection with my bio family Nick and Katie are very different parents.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • Katie and her husband are both doctors. Nick is a cop and his wife is a preschool teacher.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • I've been in private school my entire life and my school is 1-2 years ahead of the local public schools, which are also some of the best in the area and are ahead of the public schools in other areas.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • Nick and his wife homeschool their kids (10, 14, 16), mostly for political reasons. I do competitive cheerleading through my school and I do competitive dance through a studio.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • I also play piano | used to do clarinet but I just quit to have more time for cheer.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • Woman in white and red uniform dancing on stage during daytime
    via Rojan Maharjan

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Nicks kids go to church youth group and youth choir and don't do any other activities.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • Katie also makes me earn my allowance. I have to work and she'll match whatever I make at the end of the month and Nick just gives his kids money whenever.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • I was at Nicks house last weekend and he was doing his usual thing where he talks sh about Katie and her parenting and how I never have free time (not true btw) because I'm always doing homework or at dance or cheer or working and how his kids actually get to be kids because they only do 2-3 hours of school a day and don't have to worry about competitions or maintaining a 3.0 GPA (my school requires you to have a 3.0 for any extracurriculars and if I'm not allowed to participate in school activi
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • He said something like "wouldn't it be nice to slow down and get to be a kid like his kids do".
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • I told him I like my life the way it is and I wouldn't want to be like his kids.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • I'm going to start dual enrollment college classes next year and I don't know if his kids are even gonna be able to go to college considering my 10 year old cousin still can't multiply single digit numbers and my 14 year old cousin is technically a grade above me but she can't solve simple linear equations.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • Woman in blue denim jacket doing math homework
    via Joshua Hoehne

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Plus they don't have any hobbies. Every time I come over we just go to the mall and look around and watch movies at their house and eat a lot of fast food.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • He got ped because I have no right to criticize his parenting and insult his kids so he called Katie and told her to pick me up early because I'm a "spoiled entitled brat that thinks I'm better than them".
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • Katie thinks I should've just smiled and nodded and that I went a little too far.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • We've decided it'll be best if I don't go to their house for a while but I'm starting to feel bad because I did kinda call my cousins stupid.
    via u/TopSwimming887
  • Fantastic_Bison9848 why does your uncle get to judge and insult you and your aunt, but when you give back just ONE sentence its the end of the world??? Nta. Hes just mad bc you hit a sore spot
    via u/Fantastic_Bison9848
  • Ma-Hu NTA. He has no problem criticizing Katie's parenting, but when you give him direct feedback on his opinion re. the effects of his choice of education for his children, he heads straight for more personal insults. You didn't call your cousins stupid, you were honest about their academic weaknesses. He should be thanking you and taking your comments on board. Edited for clarity.
    via u/Ma-Hu
  • davehal2001 You didn't call them stupid; you called them uneducated. There is a HUGE difference. NTA
    via u/davehal2001
  • MyCatSpellsBetter NTA. There's a reason your mom chose Katie. Did you go too far? Eh, maybe, but part of growing up is learning... diplomacy. Next time stick with a nod, a smile and maybe a "I like my life the way it is," and leave it at that.
    via u/MyCatSpellsBetter
  • sfzen NTA. Could you have said it more nicely? Sure. But he's starting sh because he knows he's in a position of authority over you and you can't do anything about it. Is the one weekend a month with them a court-ordered thing? Because if so, you may just have to continue to grin and bear it while keeping your head down. It sounds like Katie has been doing a good job raising you; just trust her on this one. Sometimes in life you just have to put up with ignorant people and it's not worth the con
    via u/sfzen
  • Tiny-Lecture-5085 Your uncle was talking sh and you stopped him in his tracks. He got mad because he knows you're right. Nta, don't listen to anybody that says otherwise
    via u/Tiny-Lecture-5085
  • Edcrfvh NTA. You told him the truth. You want an education. Why are his kids homeschooled if the local schools are good? Doesn't sound like they're on track. Your mom had good reasons for wanting you with her friend.
    via u/Edcrfvh
  • farty__mcfly NTA. Who is homeschooling these kids if she's a preschool teacher. They sound a bit negligent.
    via u/farty__mcfly
  • Take24Me I don't think you're an AH. I suspect people will say you are due to your age. But honestly, your Uncle is the immature one talking about your adoptive parents and lifestyle. A lifestyle he most likely knows makes you very happy. Is it possible your cousins have made comments which make them sound envious? Probably a good idea to create some distance with Nick and the family.
    via u/Take24Me

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cheerleader activities orphan lazy teenagers best friend uncle homeschool high school cousins
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